On July 15, after I picked up Ryan and we met with Father Bossi, we had a mendhi party at my parents' house. Mendhi is always applied on auspicious occasions, especially weddings. The bride gets the most elaborate mendhi on her hands and feet while her female family and friends sing and dance. Her fiance's name is hidden in the henna design and tradition holds that he must find it on their wedding night before consumating their marriage (Ryan found it in about 15 minutes). I wanted it to be a very casual event where I was surrounded by my favorite aunties, cousins, and sahelis (female friends). I'm very lucky in that my aunties are excellent cooks and made all of my favorite dishes for the occasion! I think Cheena Mamiji put something in the pani puri water though because everyone was dancing, singing, and making jokes like crazy! It was a great kickoff to the wedding weekend. Batna is a Punjabi tradition where the bride's relatives touch her feet, knees, shoulders, and face with a mixture of haldi (turmeric), mendhi, yogurt, and ghee (oil). The mixture is supposed to give the bride a special glow on her wedding day and is a way for her family to wish her well in married life. I'm glad my parents' shower has 6 jets of water because it took all 6 to get the mixture off of me!
Pictures of my mendhi, the batna, and Ryan hard at work finishing place cards!
One of the highlights of the wedding (there were many) was the sangeet on Friday night. The sangeet is a traditional Punjabi party with lots of booze, food, and dancing. My cousin, Priya, and her daughter, Syna, performed a Bollywood-style dance as did two of my nieces, Anya and Pari, and my niece from India, Ayushi. The theme of the night was authentic India - we decorated the tent in the backyard to look like a maharaja style tent and served traditional Punjabi food and even Indian beer and soft drinks like Limca and Thumbs up. Our mendhi artist came again to put mendhi on my inlaws and friends that didn't make it to the mendhi party earlier in the week. The weather did not feel like cooperating, however, and it felt like we were partying in the middle of a monsoon! So, we cleared out the couches from the living room and brought the party inside! It was so much fun - and very Bollywood movie-ish! Everyone had a blast - especially my brother-in-law, Pat! I think I might have to find him an Indian girlfriend (wink wink!). Ryan, Pat, and all my inlaws, were bhangra-ing up a storm. You would never have guessed that most of our family had met that night. It was like everyone had known each other for years. That night when I got into bed, I found the most wonderful note from my future husband. Two benedryl was not enough to help me fall asleep.
Crazy fun at the sangeet!
The next morning I was up bright and early to get my hair and makeup done. Ryan and his groomsmen got ready at the hotel where his brother gave him my gift to him - personalized dog tags and cologne to match my perfume! My bridesmaids, ringbearers, flower girl, my mother, and I all got ready at my parents' house and then boarded our old-fashioned trolley to head off to Blessed Sacrament Church. I wasn't the slightest bit nervous until we pulled up to the church. It wasn't until I saw Ryan's face at the end of the aisle that calm came over me and I couldn't wait to say my vows to him. He looked amazing in his dress blue-whites. Our ceremony was short but sweet. Aunt Carla and Uncle Tommy read from the Old Testament and New Testament respectively. Father Bossi gave a very memorable homily where Jerry Springer was somehow mentioned. But many of our guests remarked on the wisdom of his advice to us - he said that there are 3 words that lead to a successful marriage - "Share, Care, and Fair." We repeat that to ourselves every day. After we were officially pronounced "Captain and Mrs." we walked out the steps where a bagpiper was waiting to greet us.
Goin to the chapel and we're gonna get ma-a-a-ried!
After we took some professional pictures, we headed to the hotel to get ready for the Hindu ceremony. Though it was windy on the waterfront, the rain held off and we had a fun double ceremony. Ryan was nervous about getting on a horse for the barat but he had loads of fun - and so did his family! Everyone danced as the dhol player (Indian drummer) and bagpiper played in tandem. And is there any outfit my husband doesn't wear flawlessly? He looked like an Indian prince in his salwar kameez. When he approached the mandap, my sister and cousin sucessfully stole his shoes in my favorite Punjabi tradition! Ryan was able to buy them back for $100 at the end of the ceremony.
After being excorted to the mandap by my sister, Sabina, and cousin, Abu, Ryan and I exchanged garlands in the Jai Mala which symbolizes our formal acceptance of each other as life partners. My uncle, Malviya Uncle, performed our short ceremony. I'm so lucky he was willing to perform our ceremony since he has never performed one before. But he is allowed to do so because of his birth right as a Brahmin. The scientist in him was evident as he compared our marriage to DNA. With Lake Erie as our backdrop, we walked around Agni, the sacred fire, 7 times and declared our love and lives to each other. Our wedding was definitely colorful, joyful, and entertaining!
Our colorful and boisterous Hindu ceremony.
Our reception was the pinnacle of the weekend. Asbury Hall is a converted church that is now owned by Ani Difranco. The high ceilings and elaborate architechture make it such a dramatic backdrop for a wedding. And the food...oh my gosh the food! They were able to tailor a menu just for us - with mini aloo tikki to represent my Indian heritage and yakitori chicken skewers to represent our new home in Japan. The salad was similar to the salad I made (and Ryan ate) the first time I ever cooked for him. The mushroom ravioli was similar to my favorite dish at Daniel in New York. The filet mignon entree was a replica of the meal I made for Ryan on the first anniversary of the day we started dating. The lemon and herb chicken entree was a replica of the best meal we ever had together in Napa Valley. The vegetarian wellington entree was reminicent of a meal we had in Niagara-on-the-Lake with my family. And while the cake was not reminicent of any of our past meals together, it was just devine!! I can't decide whether I liked the chocolate and hazelnut cake better or the white almond with raspberry chantilly. Yum! It's a good thing our top tier is in the freezer at my parents' house right now, or I would be very tempted to dig in.
For me, the reception was the finale to my year of deliberating over wedding details. I wanted our guests to be welcomed and amazed at the details - the little things that just so "Sasha and Ryan." From the black and white cookie favors to the s'mores bar, the printed menus (courtesy of my friend Loralee), the card box, flowers, and photo guestbook, everything turned out perfect. We even nailed our choreographed first dance to "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5 even though we had only practiced it twice since Ryan got to Buffalo. My dad's speech moved everyone to tears. Sabina and Kevin gave the best Maid of Honor and Best Man speeches a bride or groom could ever ask for (thanks for not spilling embarrassing details!). My dad didn't cry during our dance to "My Girl" by the Temptations. Ryan's mom wept while they danced to "My wish" by Rascall Flatts. Everyone "oohed" and "aahed" when Ryan and I cut our cake with his Marine Corps officer's sword.
Details like the cake, flowers, table setting, sweetheart table, and Jazz band during cocktail hour.
And then the dancing started...
and like MJ said, it "don't stop til you get enough!" Everyone was out dancing until the D.J. played "New York, New York" to signify the end a la Yankees stadium. Indians rocked out to Bon Jovi and Shout while Ryan's family got into Bhangra. Adults, kids, teenagers - literally everyone got out on the dance floor. Uncle Glenn and Brian were on the floor during "Shout." Kieran had fun break dancing. Aloka auntie broke it down Kathak style. Even my wallflower father got out there!
Best. Wedding. Ever. Thank you to all of our family and friends that came and helped shape the best day(s) of our lives! We truly felt like rockstars because of you. We love you so much!
And now back to our regularly scheduled newlywed life...
